Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Eat, Pray, Love ~ really!

No happy crafting today or treasured surprises.  Today I write for myself because basically, no one is really reading this except me.  But, for those of you who may stumble upon this little pity party, my apologies.  Feel free to move onto something different.  I would completely understand.  There are so many more important or interesting things going on in other places today.  Maybe that's part of my problem?  I don't find myself as having a significant or important role in life.  hmmmm.  I need to keep working on finding value in myself but that seems to be slipping a bit recently.

I finally watched the movie today.  I know, I know it's been out there for awhile.  Heck, I've owned it for about 8 months now but see, I've been sort of afraid of this movie.  Silly and wacko-a-doodle as it may seem but there it is, I was afraid of a movie because of the emotions it would stir up.

The movie was pretty great actually.  I usually love Julie Roberts in anything.  The storyline was plausible and real, for me.  I've actually lived some of it (the emotional parts not the travel parts-unfortunately), thus my fear.  I'm okay for now.  I feel lost a lot of the time and that was what I've been afraid of most. 
Life will move forward and I along with it.  I'll find myself again, dust myself off and start all over again.  Life is just not working out at all like I had hoped it would.  I know you laugh because we all experience the same shocking results.  It was simple for me or I thought so.  Step one, just simply raise my children the best I could.  Step 2, then somewhere in my 40's meet a guy to spend the rest of my life with in adventures we make.  Step 3, watch my children live happy prosperous lives.  Step 4, grow old with my love into our twilight years.  Of course, all the while I'm just doing my job working everyday until the day I can't.  I've always been real about the reality of needing to work.

Like I said, it hasn't turned out at all like I had hoped.  Somethings have been better, somethings have been not so good.  Other things have been gut wrenching blind sides resulting broken hearts.  Oh, I get it's all from the choices I've made along the way and sometimes I'd like a do-over with some of these choices.  We don't get do overs in the real world, now do we?!  I do my best every day to get up, put on a happy face and make the best out of what God has granted me. 

This too shall pass.  Until it passes, a few quiet tears will flow.  I'll miss my family and get up every day and put on a smile.  I will then look for the greatness in the day granted to me.

~Hugs of love

ps See this movie made me all weepy and emotional...grrrr.

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